Tag Archives: humor

Pushing Through To Wonder

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Pushing Through To Wonder

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Old King David knew how to get the day started. Before the birds warbled he was already up tuning his 968 Fender Stratocaster guitar, getting ready to belt out a Chris Tomlin worship song that would reverberate through the palace.

Back in those days you could have a lot of wives and I bet every one of David’s were mad when he woke them up with his booming praise and worship at daybreak. That’s my version. Here’s how the Bible says it, ““My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast;  I will sing and make music. Awake, my soul!  Awake, harp and lyre!  I will awaken the dawn.  (Ps. 57 :7, 8, NIV) Continue reading →

Woman Brains Compared To Man Brains

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I saw this article in the New York Times the other day:

“Obama to Unveil Initiative to Map the Human Brain  By JOHN MARKOFF and JAMES GORMAN

“President Obama on Tuesday will announce a research initiative, starting with $100 million in 2014, to invent and refine new technologies to understand the human brain.”

Actually, I think this should be a two-part study. He needs to allocate 99.99999 million dollars to study the female brain and a buck twenty-five for the male brain. The male brain doesn’t seem to be used too much and the female version is very complicated.

I could do the study on men’s’ brains myself and get rich. I wouldn’t even take 50 million. I’d only charge one or two million. Think of it. What savings! What cost cutting! Congress would be happy. As a matter of fact, I can hand in my report of the male brain already.

The New York Times article could read something like this:
“Porter Completes Study of Male Brain” Continue reading →

Championship wrestling-Christian Style

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When I was a kid I used to love to watch “Championship Wrestling.”

Now if you’re over 10 years of age you might have a bit of a problem believing this stuff, but who cares? For those who love it, it’s right up there with comic books as far as action goes.

I loved the tag-team bouts, especially when my favorite bad guy, “The Great Bolo,” was involved. This guy would strut, preen, and hide pieces of metal in his mask in order to waylay the good guy when the ref wasn’t looking.

And those hopeless refs seemed to never look.

One of the good guys would nearly be beaten to a pulp by the bad guy in these matches. The meanie might lift him above his head and smash him to the canvas or throw him against the ring ropes and lay him out with a clothes- line move.

So, one of the good guys usually reached the end of his strength. He’s beaten without pity by the other two and the referee just watches. He’s down and nearly pinned. The referee counts, “One, two …” and somehow our nearly- dead hero manages to raise his shoulder off the ring floor.

He reaches and reaches for the hand of his partner so he can come and save him. He stretches. Will he make it? Won’t he? Continue reading →

My Meeting With Two Grumpy Old Men

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I may have met a couple of famous people, sitting on a park bench in Provins, France last week.

You know those two old guys on the Muppet Show? The ones who sit in the balcony and make smart-aleck comments to each other about whatever the others are doing?

Them. Or maybe it wasn’t them but these fellows sure made me think of them (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14njUwJUg1I Only watch this after you finish the Coffee Stain!)

We were in the midst of an outreach talking to people about the Lord. I approached these two old fellows, both pushing 80 I think, sitting on a bench during one of our rare sunny afternoons.

One of them turned a bit nasty when I mentioned God. I remained polite but I wanted to know what had happened to him to make him so bitter against God.

He just made the face of a fellow sucking on a lemon and ordered me to leave before he ordered me to leave.

I know he meant to offend me. Some people are scary when they’re like that, but he struck me as funny because he reminded me of the Muppet Show geezers. Continue reading →

What Makes You Say, “All Right!”?

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According to the BBC, archaeologists excavating an Anglo-Saxon cemetery in

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Cambridgeshire, England have discovered the skeleton of a woman buried with a cow, a “genuinely bizarre” find, according to them. It’s not that strange to find a man buried with a horse, evidently, but a woman buried with a cow is unusual.

I guess so. It would even be bizarre to bury a woman with a cow in 2013.

What really caught my attention, though, is the comment that the co-director of the excavation, Dr Duncan Sayer, from the University of Central Lancashire made, “The cow burial is unique in Europe which makes this an incredibly exciting and important find … I don’t think I’ll find anything as significant as this again in my lifetime.” Continue reading →