Category Archives: Attitude

“How to Scramble Out of the Pit”

Posted on by
Reply

Confessions of a fellow who has spent some time teetering on the rim of that pit (and yes, sometimes had to climb out after a painful fall.)

Some years ago a period of depression followed me like a gray winter day that just wouldn’t end. Maybe it wasn’t depression, but it was at least a hard “recession” of the soul. I was full of my hurt, stuck in a bad place. I’ve never shared this, but I was even fantasizing about crashing my car and ending my confusion.

I didn’t because suicide is one of the most painful things I could have inflicted on those I loved the most. And deep inside, I loved God and I knew this wasn’t the end, this wasn’t His plan for my life.

I kept going. And somehow, slowly, the light came back. I would have missed a ton of blessings if I had quit and, perhaps most tragically, I would have missed much of the reason God put me on earth.

During that tough time, and over the years, counseling with tons of hurting people, I’ve noticed some keys to crawling out of the pit of despair.

Lessons For Climbers

Cry Out!

When a hopeless heart paralyzes you, call on God and hang in there. An active friend told me about a period of his life when darkness so gripped him that he couldn’t get off the couch.

“Before, if I had seen someone like that, I would have said, ‘Get off that couch and get going.’ But I couldn’t do it.” Sometimes all we can do is cry out to God over and over. That’s okay. Don’t quit. Speak to God.

Wait Patiently

Wait for Him to answer. That doesn’t mean you’re jumping with joy and dancing in circles. You may be gritting your teeth and holding on for dear life. But, hold on and do what you know to do even if you don’t feel like it. Someone remarked that it’s easier to act yourself into feeling than to feel yourself into acting.

Remind Yourself

Remind yourself that He has promised to never leave you or forsake you. Read the Word to draw life as you see what God says about your situation. Remind Him what He said. God hasn’t forgotten. You’re really reminding yourself, but that Word puts life and power in your backbone.

These “down” times usually resolve themselves after a while. Either the problem will end, or we’ll adjust to deal with it with the Lord’s help as God strengthens us and shows us the direction to go.

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.” (Psalm 40:1-3, ESV)

Ask For Help

Count on God to rally help. The friend I mentioned earlier told me about the patience his pastor and another mature Christian in the church had for him. Sometimes he called in the middle of the night because he was desperate to talk to someone, and these two patiently listened and urged him through until he came out into the light of healing.

I know that when I was in this “dark night of the soul,” one day a friend, John, said to me, “David, what is it? When I pray I never have tears, but this morning when I was praying for you I was crying.” 

My uncle Donnie was someone I really admired and he called me from the United States (I was in Europe) and encouraged me in the Lord.

Don’t keep your deadly pain to yourself. Ask for help. Maybe it’s not for everyone to know, but you need a few faithful friends to carry you in prayer and encouragement when you can’t walk by yourself.

If you’re hurting, call on God, even if all you can do is whisper and your feelings weigh you down as if a dinosaur sits upon you.

Praise Him!

Praise and worship the Lord, even if you have no desire. The one who praises God enters a special place of intimacy with Him. You’re going to have times in life when you are full of good feelings and times when you feel nothing. I think our relationship with God is determined by our praise more than our feelings.

A disobedient prophet called out to God from the belly of a huge fish (his “pit”). Here’s what God did for him. “I called out to the Lord, out of my distress, and he answered me; out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice… When my life was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, and my prayer came to you… Salvation belongs to the Lord!” (Jonah 2:1-10)

Patiently scramble out of that pit!

Illustration: ChatGpt

Don’t Let the Sky Bonk You On the Head

Posted on by
Reply

Most of us know the story about the nervous little chicken that feared the sky was falling because one day while he was walking in the forest, an acorn bonked him on the head.

He convinced some bird friends it was true, and they set off to tell their king that the sky was collapsing. It didn’t end well as a fox ate them all. So much for happy endings, huh?

Americans call the unfortunate chick Chicken Little,” or Chicken Licken. Those who speak English with King Charles’ accent call him Henny Penny. Nearly 200 years ago, a Danish version of the story called him Kylling Kluk.

Yelling “The Sky Is Falling”

I’ve been bonked on the head by a lot of things, but I don’t think an acorn was one of them. A couple of things hit me hard enough that I felt the sky was falling in my life, though.

I see many people scurrying around today, yelling that the sky is falling. Every time our side loses an election, it’s the end of life as we know it. Several years ago, I asked a wise friend his opinion about the results of a recent election. “I don’t think it’s terminal,” he said.

And so far, he’s been right.

Conspiracy theories gallop wildly through cyberspace, warning of sinister deep web plots to destroy the world and set up Bill Gates as king or some such. Who knows? They may be right.

And even if the sky isn’t falling, it might. There are some pretty nasty characters in charge of nuclear weapons in the world. Idiots careening down Bourbon street kill innocents. Plagues and dark diseases threaten us.

Christian Attitudes

Christians see the world and realize that a large percentage of its people couldn’t care less about God, or at least He’s an afterthought to what they deem the important things in their life.

That’s never a good sign. Life only works correctly if God is our center.

If we’re not careful, our attitude is to duck our head and pray for the Lord to come quickly. (I want the Lord to come quickly, but not simply to save us from problems. I want to be with Him eternally. I want the last act to finish and eternity with the Lord to begin).

And it’s not only some Christians who fear the sky is falling. I heard someone recently say that he felt like we’ve entered a new era, something has changed and not for the good.

Tough Times and Smiley Faces

Yes, life is tough and yes, the Bible says that perilous times will come in the last days.

But, it also says that Jesus sustains all things by His powerful word. (Hebrews 1:3). The Lord said He came to open the door to an abundant life for those who trust Him. He promised to meet all the needs of those who love Him by His riches in glory. He promised to forgive our sins. We are more than conquerors through Him.

Don’t Give Way To the Lemon-face Syndrome

So, while you’re sitting in your easy chair watching your favorite newscaster scream that the sky is falling, why not stop and look up? The Lord said He would never leave us or forsake us. In the midst of a dark world, God is moving in the earth.

We’re praying for revival? One of my French friends told me of a new openness among young people in France since COVID. Recently, revival broke out in a prayer time at Asbury Seminary and people streamed from all directions to be a part of it. Even the Washington Post reported on it.

Keep your eyes on what God is doing. Talk about that. Tune your ears to His promises and repeat them.

Or you can choose to be like Winnie the Pooh’s lemon-faced friend, Eeyore the Donkey.

He said, at various times: “I was so upset, I forgot to be happy… Could be worse. Not sure how, but it could be… Wish I could say yes, but I can’t… I never get my hopes up, so I never get let down.

“Don’t worry about me. Go and enjoy yourself. I’ll stay here and be miserable.”*

We Determine What We Focus On

Yes, we’re living in difficult times, but God helps us, strengthens us. Looking for the good and not the bad is a decision. You’ve got to work at it because it doesn’t come naturally.

But it sure changes your life.

We’re praying for a lot of things and we’ll be praying when the Lord comes, but don’t forget that God is already at work today … powerfully.

Let’s choose to tilt our heads upwards with our mouth full of praise and joy. As the song says, “Turn your eyes on Jesus, look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.”**

If you do that, the “sky” will fall on you. Heaven comes down and glory fills your soul.

“When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭94‬: ‭18‬-‭19‬ ‭NIV‬‬ ‬‬‬‬‬‬

Images: Bing AI

*https://parade.com/1277210/kaigreen/eeyore-quotes/ ** Helen H. Lemmel,

“Hey God, I’m Doing You a Favor!”

Posted on by
Reply

Phyllis and I became the pastors of a small country church in Arkansas the week I turned 22. I still had a semester of college left and we made the 180-mile round trip each weekend. Then we served as assistant pastor at my home church in Nashville, Arkansas.

By the time I was 25 we were pastoring in Texas and I was ready for ordination, which is the third and final step for pastoral recognition in our movement.

I’ll never forget the night of the ordination service. At the end, one of my leaders placed his hands on my head as I knelt praying. I hadn’t expected anything special, but I got it anyway.

You see, I showed up for that meeting pretty beat up. Pastoring a church looks easy to those who have never done it. I’ll agree. It’s as easy as piloting a Boeing 767 in a thunderstorm. I like people to like me and be happy with me, and even in small churches there are always a few people who wouldn’t be happy, even if the Lord Jesus was the pastor of their church.

I’ve remarked to my wife more than once, “I’m glad I only have to deal with that person at church. Their spouse has to deal with them all the time, and I don’t imagine that’s a picnic.” And there are some husbands who are mad at their wives, but they are afraid to take it out on them so they take it out on the pastor.

Please don’t misunderstand me. Some of the best people I ever met were in those churches. If you’re reading this, you were one of them. The Texas church is still one of the highlights of our ministry.

But, the night I knelt in that ordination service, I must confess, I figured God was getting a bargain when He got me. “Gave up what I was planning for the ministry. Put up with being a punching bag for unhappy individuals. Willing to live on a minimal salary. Yes, sir Lord. You’re really lucky to have me.”

Now, I didn’t say that out loud because I was afraid God would give me a “Gibbs slap” on the back of my head. But, I felt that way.

Until the old brother prayed for me. Continue reading →

Try Time Travel For a Powerful Life

Posted on by
Reply

God has given humans the ability to travel into the past or a possible future. Our mind flies forward to see things that are going to happen; that friend we are going to see gives us joy even before he arrives. That rendezvous with the grouch- of-the-week makes us tremble, even before it happens.

A real key in a powerful life is to see what God wants to do before we get there. We don’t always know the specifics but we always know God has this future in his hands. Try to see it the way He wants it to be.

If you want to rip all the joy out of life today, imagine all the bad things that can happen in the future. Corrie Ten Boom once said, ““Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

At times the future scares me, because I feel inadequate for what I imagine might happen. I also get excited about the future when I see a ton of good things that might await me. What’s the difference?

Most people say that imaginary things aren’t real, but I’m not one of them. It’s crazy the effect they have on our lives. When I see a bear hiding in the darkness near the road I’m traveling on, I’m scared to death whether there is a bear there are not. I tremble, my heart beats faster, my peace is gone.

The bear may be imaginary, but he’s changed my life.

Time Travelers Sink Millions

Twelve spies traipsed off into the Promised Land. Millions of people had been exploring this Promised Land in their imagination, but they hadn’t been imagining a lot of problems. It’s not wrong to think of future problems. It’s just wrong to think about them and not count on God’s help.

Now the time had come to take hold of their promise. The spies walked through the land, their heads swiveled right and left. “Wow, look at that city! Look at how fertile this land is. But look at how strong those people are. They’re big. They are mean. I feel like a grasshopper standing alongside them.”

And they begin to travel to the future and see themselves stomped into the ground in any battle they might have with these people. Ten of them painted such a negative picture of the future that millions of people began to howl in defeat.

Before one single arrow had been fired!  Continue reading →

First Step Towards An Improved Version of You In 2017—Attitude

Posted on by
Reply
Once I got mad and I stayed mad a long time. I figured I was right to be furious but it

didn’t do me much good. When I think about that period of my life, I recall a lot of misery, me walking around fuming inside.At night I tried to sleep with a chip on my shoulder. It didn’t work very well. Angry, angry.

And then there was the time I went through a stretch of feeling sorry for myself and comparing myself to others. Or do you want to hear about the time … no? Me, neither.

That was a tough patch.

I’ve been a lot of unhealthy things in my heart and in my head for a slice of my life. But, I’ve learned something: if I find a stray cat in the kitchen, I’ve got to kick him out, or he’ll make himself at home. If I keep my anger, or self-pity or any other sick attitude for too long, I become that thing. I’ve got to do something about the “stray cat.”

Otherwise, I’m not just angry for a moment. Everyone gets mad. But, when I hold onto that anger too long, I become an angry man. Some folks, if you separate them from their self-pity, their anger, their critical spirit, or a host of other “stray cat” attitudes, they almost cease to exist.

There is a story about a lady whose constant request at the prayer meeting was, “Pray for my terrible husband.” The people prayed and God saved him; changed his life.

And she left him for another man.

I suppose she felt a need to be pitied. She was defined by her misery. “Poor Sis So and So.” I imagine that her new man made her miserable, so her itch to be pitied was scratched.

Watch/develop/decide… your Attitude

What is your attitude in life? What do people think about when they think of you?

There is a Syrian immigrant somewhere, shivering under a tent who has more hope than some of us. He’s in miserable conditions, but he’s hoping for something better and that keeps him going. And many of us whose lives are better than 90% of the people in the world are wretched and depressed.

Remind me again why that is.

Hope is an incredible factor in healthy, happy lives. It’s a foundational stone for a good attitude.

Our feelings ebb and flow during life”physical battles, trials, difficult people, emotional changes, life-stage changes, so many things influence our attitude. Good things shape us, too.

 

We have to take charge of our attitude. We have to be intentional about it.

Seth Godin says, “”Attitude is the most important choice any of us will make. We made it yesterday and we get another choice to make it today. And then again tomorrow.

“The choice to participate. To be optimistic. To intentionally bring out the best in other people… they are a choice. No one does these things to us. We choose them and do the work (and find the benefits) that come with them.”

So How Do You Do It?

 I suspect that some babies show up in the delivery room, pop open their wonder-struck eyes and say, “Hello, doctor. You’re really looking good. This is going to be a great day.” They seem to be born with a great attitude.

Maybe that happens, but for the vast majority of us, it doesn’t come naturally. As a matter of fact, I think the only ones who were ever like that were Adam and Eve. And they weren’t exactly born. A rotten attitude seems to be a result of man allowing sin to enter the world.

Since then we’ve had to work to get our attitude right. Here’s how to get started.

1.      Be thankful. If you’re convinced that the world owes you life, liberty and happiness you’ll always be mad when life isn’t like that. Stop and genuinely give thanks to God for His blessings. If you can’t think of any, you’ve got a serious blindness problem. Really. Do it! Stop and thank Him. Make it a habit. (Romans 1:21; Colossians 3:15)

2.      Become the master of your thoughts. You decide what stays in. Your heart decides what’s important and if anger and frustration prevail it might be that you’ve got a heart problem. Look and see why you’ve got heart disease and deal with that.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV)

“A good man produces good things from the good stored up in his heart, and a bad man produces evil things from his own stores of evil. For a man’s words will always express what has been treasured in his heart.” (Luke 6:44 J.B. Phillips)

Sometimes a thought gets hold of us and we can’t get loose. We need supernatural deliverance”either once and for all or once a day.

‘Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God re-mold your minds from within, so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good, meets all his demands and moves towards the goal of true maturity.” (Rom. 12:2, J.B. Phillips)

But, it’s more than a choice. God has to do a work in our attitude, so that we can have his attitude. Positive thinking isn’t enough.     « To be made new in the attitude of your minds » Eph. 4:23

3.      There is a powerful connection between your mouth and your heart”one influences the other, one reveals the other. Wives, how do you talk about your husband to others? To him? Husbands? And how do you talk about your life? All that reveals your heart AND influences your heart.

We all talk to ourselves. This is our narrative about ourselves, our story as we relate it. Do you want people to pity you or pay attention to you? Sometimes if we feel incapable of exciting admiration we settle for provoking pity. Proclaim your praise for the Lord”and others. Proclaim your confidence in Jesus and His promises. Let your story be the story He tells about you and the dream He put in your heart.

4.      Choose those that you hang with, as much as possible. When you can’t stay away from grouches, gripers, criticizers, complainers and “the-world-is-coming-to-an-end-ers,” be a positive influence in the life of these negative people.

And if positive people are constantly encouraging you by interjecting something positive into your self-pity, it might be a sign that you’re the grouch in the situation. Quit it!

5.      And …

Don’t just resist a nasty attitude. Fill your mind and heart with good stuff, so there is no room for junk. Read and pray the Psalms; fill up every spare corner of your mind with the great promises of God’s Word. Get excited about God’s promises. Remember His answers to prayer.

Keep your relationship with God up-to-date: love His presence, admit your sin when you fail, and pay close attention to difficult relationships with those close to you. Here’s something to think about–if we’re constantly clashing with others that might indicate a problem with us. We all clash at times but when it happens often, it may well be our attitude”the world owes us, we feel disrespected, angry about something, or we might be disobeying God in an area of our life and we want to misdirect attention.

Get some exciting God-given goals. Learn to pray and walk in God’s presence.

Getting your mind « renewed » is a process. We must work at it each day. But, it sure beats the alternative which is stinking-thinking, stinking-speaking and stinking-acting.. All that leads to a stinking life. (Rom. 12:1, 2)

“A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; From the produce of his lips he shall be filled.” (Proverbs 18:20, NKJV)

Putting It into practice:

 

What is the one word that best describes your daily attitude?

Ask three people who know you well to describe your attitude in one word. Then ask the same people to describe you biggest negative attitude in one word.

Pray seriously about this: what am I going to do to change the negative part of my attitude?

This article might interest you: FOUR SURE-FIRE WAYS TO FIX THOSE PROBLEMS BETWEEN YOUR EARS https://davidscoffeestains.com/four-sure-fire-ways-to-fix-those-problems-between-your-ears/)

Here’s a book that will help you in your journey towards an attitude that leads to God’s abundant life”“40 Days to a Joy-filled Life” by Tommy Newberry

Images: pixabay.com, johnhain; fr_golay, petelinfort; keijj44

Continue reading →