Pain’s Fork in the Road — Does your struggle drive you to God or away from Him? 

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When my boys were little — Steve and Charles — they loved nothing more than heading out to the Davis farm. The Davises were one of our church families, and those two couldn’t wait to get out of town and “help” Brother Davis with his cows. I use the word “help” loosely, of course, seeing as they were about five and six at the time.

And Sis Davis’ country breakfasts would put any nearby Cracker Barrel out of business. I must confess that I looked forward to opportunities to go out early in the morning and pick them up so that Sis Davis would invite me to breakfast.

This simple couple became substitute grandparents for our boys (just like Sis Edwards did for our daughter Christi). Bro and Sis Davis would ask the boys, “Whose boy are you?” Steve was Sis Davis’ boy and Charles was Bro Davis’ boy. Each of the boys milked his preferred position to the hilt.

Charles took it a step further when Bro Davis wasn’t around and declared that he was my boy. “Daddy, help your boy. Daddy, get this for your boy.” And on and on.

The youngster played his “golden child” status to the hilt until the day I was talking with Bro Davis and Charles was there. “Whose boy are you now?” the old farmer asked him, knowing full well that Charles had tried to work both of us with his “your boy” theme.

The little guy was speechless because he didn’t want to lose his perceived inside track with either of us.

Are You God’s Boy or Girl?

I think we’re all thrilled to learn from God’s Word that we’re “His boy” (or “His girl”): “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are!” (1 John 3:1)

Hey, that’s a favored spot, isn’t it? But what do you do on the day when God doesn’t show up and help “his boy” or “his girl” when you thought He should have?

Where Are You, Lord?

Life being what it is, we sometimes end up in situations we don’t like, or we have dreams that aren’t fulfilled. We hurt.

Sickness, lost jobs, lies, failure, broken relationships, personal goof-ups and on and on punch hurt deep into us. What’s up with that when it seems God doesn’t show up for His child? You’d show up for your little one, wouldn’t you?

If God could do something, why didn’t He? “Lord, you could have kept this from happening. Lord, you can get me out of this. Hurry up! Have you lost your girl? Am I still your child?”

Some days “God’s boy” finds himself whimpering, “Why me?”

What To Do?

The question isn’t: are we going to have days like this? The question is: what are we going to do when it happens?

Some turn away. What advantage is it to serve God if He’s not there when you need Him? Maybe you’re like Adam and Eve when they sinned — you run away and hide. How silly to think we can hide from the One who sees and knows everything.

We may be hurting, we may be pouting, or we may be mad at God, but a good place to go when those questions tear at our gut is into the presence of God.

Tough To Spank

I heard a pastor tell the story of trying to spank his son. When the little one realized that Judgment Day had sounded, instead of running from his dad, he ran to him and latched onto his leg with all his strength.

The father confessed that it was awkward to spank the little guy as long as he held his leg, but more than that, his heart went out to the child, and the spanking was probably much milder than if the kid had run away.

Questions come, and I wish I could spare you the pain — wish I could spare myself the pain. Recently, I struggled as I prayed for someone I love going through a tough trial. And God gave a good conclusion to our prayers. I was joyful, but in my heart I still would have loved and trusted the Lord even if the result had been different.

He promised to make ALL things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. My faith is not based on my understanding of the situation but on my knowledge of God. My trust in Him is based on relationship, not on feeling.

The result?

For those who turn away from God because of pain — spiritual shipwreck.

For those who go to Him, even though the pain weighs them down for a while — strength. And we usually end up seeing God’s deliverance or receiving God’s strength and assurance.

Sing praises to the LORD, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name. For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. (Ps. 30:4–5, ESV)

Wait for it. Look for it.

Seriously? Another Sermon On That?

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You ever have one of those rebellious thoughts followed by a “Get thee behind me” moment? Maybe it’s God posing the question and not Satan.

Once I was in church, singing a song I’ve warbled a ton of times, then listening to a sermon which sounded like a Summer repeat. And the thought came, “Is this all?”

I think the message that morning was about Joseph. I have heard the text preached scores of times, why I’ve preached that text myself. I may have read it 100 times.

What’s the point of listening to another sermon on Joseph? Did I have to repeat first grade in school five times when I already knew that 2 + 2 usually equals 4? Didn’t I already know all this?

But as I listened to what the pastor said, I compared my life to the story once again. Was I living up to that? How should I change? My interior “gyro system” began to check to see if I was still on course.

Though I knew the Word, and sometimes I could finish the preacher’s sentence for him, listening and applying that Word … once again … helps me make corrections to stay on course.

Otherwise I could miss my destination.

Korean Air Lines Flight 007 

Several years ago Korean Air Lines flight 007 took off after refueling in Alaska carrying 269 passengers and crew, headed to Seoul, Korea. It never arrived.
Authorities speculated the plane’s autopilot wasn’t set correctly and it caused the plane to deviate slightly from it’s intended course.

It was just a small error but the further it flew, the further it inched off course. The unfortunate airplane ended up in Soviet airspace. The year was 1983 and Cold War burned between the Soviet Union and the West. Suddenly this civilian airliner was tracked then targeted by deadly warplanes. Soviet fighter jets shot it down, killing all 269 people aboard. Many were children under twelve.

Modern autopilot and flight-management systems show the pilots where the airplane is, where it’s supposed to be, and how far it’s drifting from the planned route. When it gets off course the automatic systems prod it back onto the right course.

Little corrections for an airplane only a tiny bit off course at the start would have saved a lot of lives on flight 007.

Course Corrections

So back to the Joseph story. Though I had read it many times, as the young pastor spoke, I tried to connect it to my life and see if I needed to make corrections. I constantly do that when I hear a message, when I read the Bible and when I pray.

And I don’t always agree with 100% of what others think. I constantly compare it with what God’s Word says. If I simply swallow everything a leader says, at the least I’m being lazy and at the worst I might get brainwashed.

My spiritual gyro is active when I’m with someone else who knows the Lord. Just seeing him live right helps me see if I’m on course. And I learn to avoid other obstacles if I see him stub his toe somewhere.

I learned from listening to “at home church” during COVID that I really need my brothers and sisters who love the Lord. TV is helpful but I need personal interaction with others who love the Lord.

I need church. It helps me stay on course. I do believe God manifests Himself in a unique and necessary way when His people get together in His name.

There really is a point to listening to another message on Joseph, or David, or John 3:16. Something good does happen as I’m singing that worship song again and praying with my brothers and sisters for the umpteen time. 

It’s easier to stay on course when I constantly make the needed corrections in my life. 

“How to Scramble Out of the Pit”

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Confessions of a fellow who has spent some time teetering on the rim of that pit (and yes, sometimes had to climb out after a painful fall.)

Some years ago a period of depression followed me like a gray winter day that just wouldn’t end. Maybe it wasn’t depression, but it was at least a hard “recession” of the soul. I was full of my hurt, stuck in a bad place. I’ve never shared this, but I was even fantasizing about crashing my car and ending my confusion.

I didn’t because suicide is one of the most painful things I could have inflicted on those I loved the most. And deep inside, I loved God and I knew this wasn’t the end, this wasn’t His plan for my life.

I kept going. And somehow, slowly, the light came back. I would have missed a ton of blessings if I had quit and, perhaps most tragically, I would have missed much of the reason God put me on earth.

During that tough time, and over the years, counseling with tons of hurting people, I’ve noticed some keys to crawling out of the pit of despair.

Lessons For Climbers

Cry Out!

When a hopeless heart paralyzes you, call on God and hang in there. An active friend told me about a period of his life when darkness so gripped him that he couldn’t get off the couch.

“Before, if I had seen someone like that, I would have said, ‘Get off that couch and get going.’ But I couldn’t do it.” Sometimes all we can do is cry out to God over and over. That’s okay. Don’t quit. Speak to God.

Wait Patiently

Wait for Him to answer. That doesn’t mean you’re jumping with joy and dancing in circles. You may be gritting your teeth and holding on for dear life. But, hold on and do what you know to do even if you don’t feel like it. Someone remarked that it’s easier to act yourself into feeling than to feel yourself into acting.

Remind Yourself

Remind yourself that He has promised to never leave you or forsake you. Read the Word to draw life as you see what God says about your situation. Remind Him what He said. God hasn’t forgotten. You’re really reminding yourself, but that Word puts life and power in your backbone.

These “down” times usually resolve themselves after a while. Either the problem will end, or we’ll adjust to deal with it with the Lord’s help as God strengthens us and shows us the direction to go.

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.” (Psalm 40:1-3, ESV)

Ask For Help

Count on God to rally help. The friend I mentioned earlier told me about the patience his pastor and another mature Christian in the church had for him. Sometimes he called in the middle of the night because he was desperate to talk to someone, and these two patiently listened and urged him through until he came out into the light of healing.

I know that when I was in this “dark night of the soul,” one day a friend, John, said to me, “David, what is it? When I pray I never have tears, but this morning when I was praying for you I was crying.” 

My uncle Donnie was someone I really admired and he called me from the United States (I was in Europe) and encouraged me in the Lord.

Don’t keep your deadly pain to yourself. Ask for help. Maybe it’s not for everyone to know, but you need a few faithful friends to carry you in prayer and encouragement when you can’t walk by yourself.

If you’re hurting, call on God, even if all you can do is whisper and your feelings weigh you down as if a dinosaur sits upon you.

Praise Him!

Praise and worship the Lord, even if you have no desire. The one who praises God enters a special place of intimacy with Him. You’re going to have times in life when you are full of good feelings and times when you feel nothing. I think our relationship with God is determined by our praise more than our feelings.

A disobedient prophet called out to God from the belly of a huge fish (his “pit”). Here’s what God did for him. “I called out to the Lord, out of my distress, and he answered me; out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice… When my life was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, and my prayer came to you… Salvation belongs to the Lord!” (Jonah 2:1-10)

Patiently scramble out of that pit!

Illustration: ChatGpt

Five Essentials Questions To Jumpstart 2026

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So here we are starting another year and going through our first of the year rituals—making goals for change that we keep about a week, peering into the obscurity of the future seeing if we can make out what’s ahead, and hopefully, looking back on the past year to praise God for His goodness and to remember what we learned so we won’t make the same mistakes. 

I don’t know about you but I want to be a better servant of the Lord Jesus this year. I want a joyful, abundant life. I think we can move towards these goals by asking ourselves some piercing questions. 

  1. What area of your internal life would you like to change? 

For me it’s fear and the resulting doubt. That’s been a whole-life battle. Where’s your battle? 

Here is an action plan that you can carry out, however you answered the question. 1/Find what God’s Word says about your struggle. 2/Pray and think about the way out. 3/Begin with one action step. How am I going to conquer this? One step. 4/Pray and trust God for His strength and wisdom. Spiritual battles have spiritual solutions. 

  1. How am I going to grow in the Lord this year? 

Think it through. Just saying, “I’m going to read the Bible more and pray more,” isn’t enough, though it’s great to start if you don’t do this already. Why do you feel weak in your relationship with God? Think of examples in the Bible of how someone grew in God. Find someone further along the road of relationship with the Lord and see if you can spend some time with them. Get hungry to know Him more and more. 

  1. How am I going to deepen my most important relationships this year? 

Decide to do one practical thing and put it into practice regularly. Think! Relationships with others are gold and if you don’t work on them, they die. 

  1. What do you think God wants you to do this year? 

What practical step will you take in that direction? 

  1. If I could have a dream come true this year, what would it be? 

Write it down. Pray about it. What is one thing you could do to move towards seeing it happen? 

Write your answers and look at them once a week. Then at the end of the year tell me what happened. 

“Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” Proverbs 16:3 (ESV) 

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (ESV) 

25 True Things About Jesus

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Here are 25 key assertions the New Testament makes about Jesus Christ:

  1. He is the Son of God – A central claim throughout the Gospels and epistles (Matthew 16:16, John 1:34)
  2. He is the Messiah (Christ) – The long-awaited anointed one of Israel (Matthew 16:20, John 4:25-26)
  3. He is fully God – “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (John 1:1)
  4. He is fully human – He was born, grew, ate, slept, and experienced human emotions (Luke 2:52, Hebrews 2:17)
  5. He was born of a virgin – Conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of Mary (Matthew 1:23, Luke 1:34-35)
  6. He lived a sinless life – “He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth” (1 Peter 2:22)
  7. He is the Creator of all things – “All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:3)
  8. He existed eternally, before creation – “Before Abraham was, I am” (John 8:58)
  9. He is the exact representation of God – “He is the image of the invisible God” (Colossians 1:15)
  10. He performed miracles – Healed the sick, cast out demons, raised the dead, commanded nature (throughout the Gospels)
  11. He died by crucifixion – Suffered under Pontius Pilate for the sins of humanity (1 Corinthians 15:3)
  12. His death was a substitutionary sacrifice – “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree” (1 Peter 2:24)
  13. He was buried – Placed in Joseph of Arimathea’s tomb (1 Corinthians 15:4)
  14. He rose bodily from the dead on the third day – The cornerstone of Christian faith (1 Corinthians 15:4, Luke 24:39)
  15. He appeared to many witnesses after his resurrection – Over 500 people saw him alive (1 Corinthians 15:5-8)
  16. He ascended into heaven – Returned to the Father forty days after resurrection (Acts 1:9-11)
  17. He is seated at the right hand of God the Father – A position of authority and honor (Mark 16:19, Hebrews 1:3)
  18. He is the only way to salvation – “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6)
  19. He will return to earth – The Second Coming to judge and establish his kingdom (Acts 1:11, Revelation 19:11-16)
  20. He is Lord of all – Every knee will bow to him (Philippians 2:9-11)
  21. He has all authority in heaven and on earth – Given by the Father (Matthew 28:18)
  22. He is the head of the church – The church is his body (Ephesians 1:22-23, Colossians 1:18)
  23. He gives eternal life to those who believe – “Whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16)
  24. He sends the Holy Spirit – To indwell and empower believers (John 14:16-17, 26)
  25. He intercedes for believers – He continually prays for those who are his (Romans 8:34, Hebrews 7:25)

These assertions form the core of New Testament Christology and represent the early church’s understanding of who Jesus is and what he accomplished. (Claude.ai)