Big Problems–Is God Evening Up the Score With Me?

Two friends sat at a table. One drank coffee, the other a diet coke. Herman says to Ralph, “Did you hear that our friend Freddie is going through a terrible trial?”

“No,” Ralph replies. “I wonder if he sinned and if God is punishing him.”

The next week they’re talking again. This time Herman is drinking diet coke and Ralph is drinking coffee. Ralph says to Herman, “Did you hear about Daisy? They say she’s got cancer.”

“Well, you know how gossipy Daisy is. I won’t say she’s being punished but, well …” Herman says to Ralph.

The next week both of the friends are drinking coffee. “Did you hear about Fred?” Herman asks. “Lost his job. His wife left him and he found out he’s got athlete’s foot.”

“Do you think he did something to make God mad?”

At the end of the month the two get together again. Herman says to Ralph, “The doctor says I’ve got a terrible disease.”

Ralph says to Herman, “I lost my job.”

Both of them wail in unison, “What did I do to deserve that!”

Is God Evening Up the Score?

Often in the face of trouble, there is a sneaky little voice that whispers that if something goes wrong in someone’s life, divine justice is evening up the score. Continue reading

Justice At Gunpoint?

Some wise and learned person said that one of the best ways to learn a language better was to read in the said language. So, when I was learning French, I dutifully started to read novels in French.

It was okay for the language, but French writers seem to have a love for stories that end badly. The hero dies or it doesn’t all work out at the end. Ambiguity rules.

I had a hard time with that because I’m a big fan of happy endings. I don’t spend hours reading a book in order to have more questions at the end than at the beginning.

Give me an old Western any day. There’s a good guy, a bad guy and a pretty girl. You got that? The black hat and the white hat spend the whole film fighting, then at the end the good guy plugs the bad guy, takes the pretty girl by the hand, they climb on their horses and they ride off towards the setting sun to live happily ever after.

It’s not complicated. Continue reading

What the Cowboys and Redskins Teach Us About Life

I think the Lord endowed a lot of Coffee Stains readers with a vivid imagination. Here’s your chance to use it.
It’s Dallas versus Washington in Jerryworld, there in Texas. The captains of the two teams advance towards the fifty-yard line where the referees wait. The supporters are yelling insults at each other. The police will have their hands full after the match.
Just after the coin flip the Redskins’ captain says to the refs, “Listen, we won’t be needing you today. We’ve decided with the Cowboys that we can express ourselves much more fully if you guys aren’t around with your yellow flags. So, we’d like to invite you to go back to the dressing room.”
The Cowboys’ captain nods his agreement.
“But, but…” stutters the main referee. “How are you going to play without us?”
“We’re well able to take care of business between us. We’re of age you know, and there is a tremendous potential in each human. Frankly we just don’t need you.”
So the refs, dragging their feet, heads down, head for the dressing room.
Flash forward four hours (one hour for the game and three hours for commercials). The refs come out of the dressing room to see who won. “What’s going on?” they ask each other. Fists fly in the stands as the fans fight with each other. Continue reading