Women Can Be Sneaky

Posted on by
Reply

One day my wife revealed to me a trick of the female trade. She said older women had told her that if noon approached and the meal wasn’t ready, but hubby’s stomach clock was clanging, one need not despair.

Just trot off to the kitchen, melt some butter into a pan and cut up onions into the sizzling butter. The smell mounts like a bird of paradise and wafts its way to the hungry husband’s olfactory glands.

The result is a psychological, “ahhhhh” as he relaxes with the promise of good things to come, and it buys mama some time.

I’ll admit that the smell of butter and onions cooking doesn’t move me the same way since I found that out. It’s like the magician showed you how he really saws the lady in half.

You know, getting hungry poses no problem for me. Come lunchtime, my stomach squalls like four-day old baby deprived of milk.

I’m Hungry!

I wish I was always so hungry for God. I want to be, that’s a fact, because I love Him and want to be all I can for Him. And Jesus himself promised, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” (Matt. 5:6, NIV). If there is anything I want, it’s to be blessed by God and I know that when I hunger and thirst for Him, I’m blessed.

What does it mean, to be hungry for God? Hungry to know Him, to win others to Him, to be like Him, to enjoy His presence in prayer, to enjoy His presence in worship, to feel His strength as you go about your daily tasks. Hungry!

It’s just that sometimes my hunger level is kind of pitiful. Why is that?

Chips

Well, sometimes I fill up on “chips,” and other goodies. There’s only so much room in my spirit for distractions. So all my great goals in life plus baseball, football, reading, friends, etc. take a toll on my passion level. I spend a lot and passion there.

Sometimes it’s good to step away—just you and God—maybe skip a few meals, or leave off television and newspapers for a month. Even …gasp… internet! (Except for Coffee Stains, of course).

Mark Twain told a silly story of a man who had lost his appetite in a short story called, “At the Apetite-Cure.” The specialist put him in a room, locked the door and gave him a menu with all sorts of disgusting things to eat, but considering the severity of his lack of appetite, he could only order from the fifteenth item on.

At first he turned up his nose as the horrible fare, but when 26 hours had passed, he tried to order some of the less repulsive things at the first of the menu. Nothing doing. Forty-eight hours passed and he was ravenous and much further down the list in his ordering.

Finally, after 60 hours he thought he could stomach the 60th item: “Soft-boiled spring chicken—in the egg!” By that time the specialist figured he was cured and served him a big steak instead. Then he gave him some healthy advice about eating which preserved his appetite.

The shock cure works, and maybe if our spiritual batteries are dead a retreat from the hundred mile an hour pace filled with “chips and cookies” might do wonders for our awareness of God.

Hanging out with people who have an appetite helps too. Nothing like a beautiful description of a favorite dish to get the old taste buds to salivating. Read about God; listen to people who know Him well talk about Him; talk to the Lord yourself, but from your heart, not just in a stereotyped manner.

Finally, ask God to make you hungry. Maybe you’re not ravenous, but if you’re hungry to be hungry for God, tell it to the Lord. If would surprise you how often He listens when you talk to him.

Hunger pays big dividends. Let God make you that way and do your part in cooperating with Him.

All Brides are Beautiful?

Posted on by
Reply

They say there is no such thing as an ugly bride—they’re all beautiful.

I don’t know. I’ve seen a couple who came close to breaking that rule. I know what they are talking about though. An inner radiance shines out from her that tells you just how happy and beautiful she is in her heart at that moment.

That’s why I like marriage ceremonies even though, as a pastor, there are some things I don’t like about them. I often think, “David, they’ve spent a fortune on this, so don’t say something stupid or do something that will spoil the memory of it for the rest of their lives!”

But I do like to see two people promising before God and the people of God to love each other, to be faithful to each other, to support each other, and to work together all the days of their lives. For me, just beginning to live together, without faithful vows before God and man leaves out this powerful step–a step which makes a difference.

That’s why we have a marriage ceremony—we reinforce our commitment by making it in front of witnesses.

And that’s the reason we follow the Lord in water baptism, too. Many people think, “I believe in Jesus and I’ve asked for forgiveness and given Him my life. I want to serve and obey Him in my heart. That’s enough.”

That’s like saying, “We love each other and God knows that, so skip the ceremony.” No, the ceremony is super important—whether it’s in front of hundreds or only one or two observers. The ceremony crystallizes something in us.

When we’re baptized in water, we say before the world, “I have repented of my sins and I’m counting on Jesus Christ to save me eternally. My faith is in Him.” When we “take the plunge” we’re saying, “I’ve died to my selfish life of sin,” and when we come up we’re saying, “Just like Jesus died and rose again defeating the power of Satan, by my faith and my identification with Jesus I’ve been changed and risen from the death of sin to a new life in Christ.” (Rom. 6)

“That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land! That’s what baptism into the life of Jesus means. When we are lowered into the water, it is like the burial of Jesus; when we are raised up out of the water, it is like the resurrection of Jesus. Each of us is raised into a light-filled world by our Father so that we can see where we’re going in our new grace-sovereign country.” (Rom. 6:1-5, The Message version)

Baptism announces publicly our faith in Christ. “It’s scary in front of everyone,” you say? Yeah, but no scarier than going to the Cross, like he did for you and me. Obeying Him in this matter is the least I can do for Him after what He did for me—even if my knees wobble a bit as I do it.

Baptism affirms the power of God in our life. It’s an image of what happens when we put our trust in the Lord. We die to sin as Jesus died for sin. We live again spiritually by His power, just as He came back to life by the power of His Father.

Baptism doesn’t save us but if we are saved, if our lives have been changed, we want to obey Him in everything. Baptism isn’t listed as a Biblical option—it’s a command.

“Peter said, ‘ Change your life. Turn to God and be baptized, each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, so your sins are forgiven. Receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is targeted to you and your children, but also to all who are far away—whomever, in fact, our Master God invites.'” (Acts 2:38, 39 The Message)

And just like all brides are beautiful, I believe that everyone who stands before others to testify of his faith in Jesus and follow his command to be baptized is also beautiful.

Subscribe to Coffee Stains. It’s free. david.porter@agmd.org

The Difference Between Men and Women

Posted on by
Reply

The Associated Press headline surprised me: “Opponents carry injured home run hitter around the bases.”

The story by Joseph Frazier detailed how the hitter had blasted the ball out of the park, then apparently tore a ligament rounding first base. The unlucky athlete’s team couldn’t help, according to the rules so,

“ …members of the Central Washington University softball team stunned spectators by carrying Tucholsky around the bases Saturday so the three-run homer would count — an act that contributed to their own elimination from the playoffs.”

I was surprised until I realized that it was members of a womens’ softball team that did it. Then I said to myself, “Oh, I understand.”

Most men’s teams would never do that. They’d see their opponent writhing in pain on first base and think, “Wow, what a break for us!” Or, “That’s divine justice. We’re supposed to win this.”

But carry him around the bases so he could beat you? C’mon! Get serious.

One year at kids camp I was paired with a lady counselor who berated me because of my competitiveness. Me competitive? I just want to WIN! ALWAYS!

We were the black team and one day while playing softball, we were in the process of wiping out some other colored team.

Counselors got to play and my tender-hearted colleague was pitching. We were beating them so badly that she wanted to let them score, which wasn’t a widely-held feeling on our mostly-boys team. One of the hitters on their team blasted a line drive up the middle and I made one of the catches of my life to get him out. The boys “all-righted!”

And the lady counselor? She scolded me! “Let them score!” One of the last things she said to me, through the window of the church bus I was going to drive back home was, “Don’t be so competitive.”

Killjoy.

It seems the ladies are a bit more spiritual than us in this realm doesn’t it guys? When I started this Coffee Stain I was going to write about how we should get in touch with our feminine side in our relationships with others, and be more helpful and less competitive.

But them I started to think about some great fusses I’ve seen in life and I remarked that not all of them were masculine. I’ve seen some “cat fights” that rivaled any “dog fights” you can imagine for ferocity. (The worst of them, back in high school, usually concerned a dog).

Men would probably never carry an opponent around the bases. Let’s give women a point there, but I’ve seen ladies rip other ladies mercilessly with their tongues, acts, and attitudes. Maybe it’s not just the feminine side we need to get in touch with. Maybe, it’s the Lord’s side we need to think about. He actually expects more of us than a simple lift around the bases during a softball game.

Here’s Jesus’ side:

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus?” (Matt. 5:43-45, The Message)

Or try this one on:

“Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part. Our counsel is that you warn the freeloaders to get a move on. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other’s nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.

“Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. (1 Thessa. 5: 13-18, The Message)

One of the principal actors in our softball story had this comment after it was all over, ” ‘In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much,’ Mallory Holtman, one of the players who carried her opponent around the bases, said. ‘It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run.’”

That is the way you should respond. I know the Lord is pleased when we react like that, but … but … Can’t we suspend Biblical principles when we’re playing ball?
Yeah, I know, I know. See you next week.

New Grand-daughter

Posted on by
Reply

Well, I’ve done it again. I’m a grandpa for the eight time, which is really amazing for someone as young as me.

Last Saturday, when all the interested parties rushed to the hospital to get the job done, they assigned me the easy task. I got to stay home and take care of four-year old big brother, Josh, all by myself, (my wife had an important ladies’ meeting).

So we been sang, and burped, and ate a bit too much candy with no females around to tell us to stop. Life was good.

The hard part happened at the hospital. It’s tough bringing beautiful little girls into the world. As a matter of fact, it’s tough being pregnant. The only thing tougher than being a pregnant woman is being married to one, but that’s another Coffee Stain.

I remember when our daughter Christi was pregnant the first time. They had been married three years and were a little worried because nothing seemed to be happening. So when she finally conceived, we got a nine-month play by play of all the vomiting, sick stomachs, etc. (and loved every bit of it).

In February, though, she had her fourth boy and this nine months for her was more like … let’s say the excitement level wasn’t the same as it was tougher to see the good side of all the sickness.

Ah, but the result! My incomparable grandchildren resulted from all that vomiting. Have I told you about my grandkids? They’ve grown from a little flock to a small army reaching from Massachusetts to Texas to Africa.

And I’m in France, which is another story …

Strange to say though, some of us are pregnant today. We’re pregnant with what God told us to do. And it hurts, and kicks, and we get sick of it. But oh, the results! Usually the gestational period of our dream lasts a lot longer than nine months.

In my life I’ve been “pregnant” with churches and magazines and visions that I believe God gave me, and everyone of them complicated my life. I smirk sometimes when I hear people chirp, “Oh, just do God’s will for your life and you’ll be sooooo happy!”

Has that person ever tried to do God’s will?

The “soooooo happy” comes when you hang in there, and fight, and trust Him, believing in the face of impossibility.

Listen to the story of a man “pregnant” with God’s promise,

“Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.” (Rom. 4:18-21, NIV)

Ah, yes. Being pregnant is tough. But little Alana Sophia Porter proves that it’s worth it. Some of you “pregnant” people reading this, need to hang on and keep on doing what God told you to do.

Birth time may be just around the corner.
——————–
Hmmm….
“The more ignorant you are,the quicker you fight.” Will Rogers

The pain of loving

Posted on by
Reply

My daughter Christi called recently at 5:30 in the morning (there’s a seven hour time difference between us). She said that her five-year old, Micah, had broken his arm– badly. They were transferring him by ambulance to a hospital in Fort Worth and she wanted us to pray.

And 5,000 miles away, I hurt.

A few days later, after a successful operation to install some pins in the broken arm we received a couple of photos. One was titled “sad” and there was the little guy, his arm deformed and discolored, obviously in pain.

The next one was call “happy” and there you see him grinning from ear to ear out from under his little Beatles’ haircut—operation successful, feeling good, the center of attention the way things are supposed to be.

Obviously the second picture was 100 times better. The first one? Well, that’s what happens when you try to stand on your rocking horse and jump off. Maybe you ought to listen to mom once in a while!

Love’s Price

Of course grandpa’s heart swells with joy and thankfulness at pictures like the “happy” one—and tears in two at the “sad” one.

One of the scary things about loving is that you’re so vulnerable. If you love without limits and suddenly the object of that love is hurt or taken away, there’s a direct line to your heart that’s also touched.

It’s a tsunami that crashes towards you, and it’s impossible to duck. When the object of our love suffers, we suffer, but we may as well get used to it, because that’s part of the price for loving.

Love comes out of its hiding place and announces, “For the wonderful rewards of loving, I’ll take the hurts that invariably come with it.”

And even if the object of your love is taken away, the advantages rest. Memories, but more than memories, populate our heart. More than memories, because it seems to me that the link that we have with the person we love, leaves something of that person in us. I am what God made me but I’m also the sum of those He put in my life or those I let into my life.

If I had a different mother or father I would be different genetically, but also different in the essence of who I am. Good or bad, mama and daddy left something of themselves in us. If it was bad, it doesn’t have to destroy because we can be healed of those hurts and God can use them to heal others.

When we let God redeem those areas where those we’ve loved have hurt us, these places become strengths and we grow stronger, more able to help others who’ve hurt in the same way.

God risked a lot to love us in His Son Jesus. Think how many times He hurt because He’s exposed Himself to pain by loving someone. So many have rejected that love—thrown it back into His face.

But He takes the chance because the rewards are so great when we return His love. Dare I say that He lives for that? We’re the apple of His eye; His greatest joy; the inspiration of His songs.

“What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.
“But friends, that’s exactly who we are: children of God. And that’s only the beginning. Who knows how we’ll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we’ll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his Coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus’ life as a model for our own.” (1 John 3:1-3, The Message)

Maybe you’ve been hurt, then withdrawn into a shell, afraid to fully love because loving is such an exposed place. The rewards are worth it. “But I might get hurt …!” No, let me correct you. You will get hurt sooner or later, it’s just that the rewards of love are so powerful—more than that—they’re so necessary, that’s it’s worth it.

Christi called again the other day. Micah went back for his two-week check-up and the arm is healing so well that on the x-ray it doesn’t even look like it’s been broken. She’s having a problem getting him to settle down because running, jumping, (and scaring mama and daddy) is in his system.

What’s a parent to do? Hang on and pray. After all Christi, you remember that time when you were three and you jumped off a rock into water over your head …?

________________________________

Hmmm…
“This is a destiny that makes us brothers; none goes his way alone: all that we send into the lives of others, comes back into our own.” Edwin Markham