Your First Steps Back Are the Hardest

Back in the good old days we didn’t need a GPS to find directions. We had a female-related-to-us-by- marriage sitting in the right front seat who said often, “At the next intersection, stop and ask directions. At the next intersection stop and ask directions.”

To which we, sure-of-ourselves-males, would reply, “I don’t need to ask. It’s just right up here, I’m certain.”

Thirty minutes later we would see a sign pointing in the opposite direction that informing us that the place we wanted to go was in the other direction from that which we had been traveling.

A good indicator of this was the cows and goats grazing next to the dirt path our car was traveling on.

Then we always had a choice. Continue reading

Strange Ringtones and Answering God’s Call

Telephone ringtones amaze me today. When the cell phone goes off, for a moment I don’t know whether to dance or answer the phone. It takes me a minute to get oriented.

When I was a kid it was also complicated. In the country three families might share one line. So your ring was one long riiiiiiiiiiing and two short “ring, rings!” The neighbor’s might be two longs and one short.

And for Aunt Nosey it didn’t matter. When the phone rang you might hear a “click” while you were talking to your girlfriend. Aunt Nosey tried to sneak on to see what you were saying. It was more interesting that soap box operas.

I wonder what Aunt Nosey would have said if the phone had erupted in Bruce Springsteen’s “Born In the USA” each time someone called? That’s hard on the heart. Continue reading

The Thirty-Four Dollar Haircut


Someone said, “Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.” I concur.

My theory is that if you look better after a haircut than you did before, you were really ugly to start with. For me, haircuts rank right up there with visits to the dentist. I put them off as long as possible, which makes things a bit shaggy after about six weeks.

The other day I knew I had to do something. The dogcatcher was looking at me strangely, as if I reminded him of a stray client. My ears had gone into hibernation it had been so long since they’d seen the sunshine. Continue reading