The other day I was reading about a professional basketball player who had become a free agent and signed with another team. He had been a substitute most of the time so his statistics weren’t wonderful, something in the neighborhood of an average 3 rebounds and 2 points per game.

If memory serves me correctly some suckers–oops strike that–some team paid him three million dollars a year to come play with them.

Which got me to thinking. They ought to hire me. Now, I may not get three rebounds per game but I could stand back out of the way and the law of averages says that at least one ball per game would accidently bounce my way. And I could probably get fouled once a game so if I made one of my free shots I could average one point and one rebound per game.

And here’s the good part. I’d play for this generous team for just one million dollars per year. They would get nearly as much out of me and only have to pay a third of the price. If any pro basketball teams are reading this, just hit, “reply,” send me your proposition, and I’ll be glad to consider it. Continue reading →