I’ve chronicled my misadventures in the kitchen in detail in Coffee Stains. I’m not just a bad cook. I’m not a cook—period. (Emergency rations only).

So imagine something with me. What if I took two cups of flour and put it in the oven at 250 degrees, for 45 minutes? Would you eat the result?

Somethings just don’t do well by themselves, huh? But if you mix some milk with the flour, add some sugar and blend in some butter (notice that cooking term “blend in some butter”? Not bad, huh?), throw in a couple of eggs (without shells please) and mix it all together, you might have the start of something.

Did I miss anything? At any rate, it’s better than flour by itself.

Now you’ve forgotten the title of this Stain haven’t you? Truth is a bit like flour. When it’s mixed with the right ingredients you have to fight to stop eating cake. All by itself, it can cause some problems.

I Say What I think

I used to know a lady who would say, “I’m just a country woman. I say what I think.”

I came to the conclusion that was a wonderful attitude—if what you thought was worth saying. It her case it often wasn’t. Some people are like that: think thought, open mouth and away she goes.

Those people speak the truth as they see it, but everyone else would be better served if they put a stopper in their mouth. Continue reading →