Buy Her Back!

Go bring her back.”

“What!” Hosea couldn’t be sure he’d heard God right. Didn’t he know what that woman had put him through?

He had known about her past when he married her but he forgave it and looked forward to a happy life. Slowly, though, he began to suspect that she was unfaithful to him. His last two children’s name reflect that fear. The last one’s name meant simply, “Not mine.” Kind of a strong hint as to his feelings, huh?

Finally his wife Gomer (nice name) got tired of the pretense. Kids, fussy husband, God…that kind of life was too slow for her. She took off. Good-looking men, plenty of money, and a life of ease without crying babies and nasty diapers was her thing. She went back to prostitution. “Sorry about that Hosea; take good care of the kids.”

She left the preacher with three children, two probably not even his, and a broken heart. He lived like this for quite a while. Working, taking care of little ones, praying, hurting–life wasn’t so happy any more but he made do.

He heard news of Gomer from time to time and each time the report was worse. You can’t live that fast for very long and the years started to eat away at the beauty of his attractive wife. Finally one day he heard news that shocked him. She was going to be sold into slavery. As much as he hated what she had done to him, he couldn’t rejoice. Amazingly, he still loved her.

Then God said, “Buy her back.” What?

She probably thought he was enjoying his revenge when he bought her for that paltry sum. But then he surprised her with his love. “You’re for me and no one else now and I’m yours and no one else’s now,” he said tenderly. “What does he see in me?” she must have asked herself. She wasn’t “hot” anymore; she had treated him worse than dirt–and he still loved her?

Hosea’s explanation was simply, “That’s the way God loves his unfaithful people.” If they would let Him, He would buy them back from their sin, even if there’s not a lot left to be desired.

Marriage is a funny thing. We often think we marry one person and we find they’re not like the illusion we had. What do you do? Quit and start over? Hosea had Biblical and ethical grounds for divorce. But his love kept reaching out to his wife. Like God’s love, his wasn’t egotistical.

—————

Many people have found themselves married to someone whose personality has been warped by a difficult childhood or difficult circumstances in life. And, let’s face it, some people are just plain ornery–no excuses.

The result can be a spouse who doesn’t communicate, or who is dominant, or depressive, or verbally abusive, or…, or…,etc.

What do we do in a case like that? “Go get her back!” Not so easy? It wasn’t easy for Hosea either. I imagine that even after Gomer came home it took a while to establish a relationship.

Communication is one of the keys. Screaming or preaching to the difficult partner doesn’t work long. That’s not communication, that’s attacking. You just make them love you less.

Try to create situtations where you can talk.

When my daugter Christi was young if I took her to the restaurant and fed her fried chicken she’d tell me anything I wanted to know. Like a good preacher’s daughter she loved our fowl friends.

Communication is hard work. We need to see what kind of situations encourage our spouse to talk and work to have more and more of them. “Go get her back.” One day Hosea was dreaming out loud, “Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.” (Hos. 2:14). Maybe the desert nights had been special to Hosea and Gomer when they were young and in love. He wanted to create a situation where communication could happen.

Obviously it’s not easy, but if difficult people are ever going to be reached it will be by the firm, loving, patient, reaching out of someone who loves him. Living with a selfish, difficult person isn’t easy but God calls us to prayerfully reach past the barriers and bring his love into our partner’s life.

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“The weakness of our hunger for God is not because He is unsavory, but because we keep ourselves stuffed with “other things.” Perhaps, then, the denial of our stomach’s appetite for food might express, or even increase our soul’s appetite for God.” John Piper in A Hunger for God

Lost In Paris

The United States is a relatively young nation and that’s nice if you’re trying to go somewhere. I’m good at getting lost, or passing the street I was supposed to turn onto. In lots of places in the States, you just turn right, then turn right again, then turn right and you’re back where you started because many of the towns and cities are laid out in a square plan.

I suspect we owe that, at least in part, to a Frenchman. Pierre L’enfant, designed Washington City, the capital of the infant nation, more or less like that and I think that many cities must have copied the plan. I also suspect L’enfant may have done it like this because he was born in Paris, and may have spent a good part of his young life lost, looking for the right street.

Paris is a 2000+ year old lady. I’m sure there is some kind of logic in her street plan but I must admit that it escapes me. If you miss your street in Paris and try to take the next right to make up for your error, you may find yourself in Belgium, or Strasbourg, or Marseille before you get turned around.

That’s assuming you can even turn right. More than once I’ve said to myself, “You should have turned there!” So I look for the next street that goes to the right in order to go around and get back on my street. Except the next street right is one way, the wrong way; so I go to the next street, which is also one way, the wrong way.

If you’re not careful, you may be looking at the North Sea before you find a right turn.

It’s a little game. I think the city planners design the streets, then sit in a war room called “Traffic Central” somewhere. When they see a hapless driver like me they giggle madly, “Look, there’s one! Watch now! Ha, ha, ha! It’s really funny to watch these idiots try to find their way.”

Where is Pierre L’Enfant when you need him?

My guess is that Paris streets came about when young Pierre led his goat to the river each day. They left a trail that little Pierre followed with his goats that, over the years, became a distinct, winding path. Somebody eventually paved it and, voilà!, a major street.

There were probably a lot of little Pierres who led their goats around the region and these little paths became the DNA of the modern Paris street map. If it was that way or not, one thing is true– if you see me in Paris I’m probably lost or in a traffic jam. Often I’m lost AND in a traffic jam.

I just can’t capture the logic of the Paris street system.

But you know, that’s not the only logic I don’t understand. I can’t understand God either. I can’t grasp why in the world He would forgive my sins if I asked Him to, and turned away from my sins. Forgiveness is much harder than that for me. But He forgave a ton of sins in my life.

I can’t understand why He loved me (and you) so much that He went to the Cross to die for our sins. I can’t figure it out”He lived in the most incredible place you could imagine, He had angels to cater to His every whim, He was the most powerful Being in the universe. And He left all that to do for me?

I fail to grasp why He’s so patient with me because I would have zapped me into a crispy critter a long time ago if I had been God. Why in the world would he say that I was His greatest joy? (Zephaniah 3:17, French version). Why would He want to spend eternity with me (and you)? It’s not like He couldn’t choose His company.

God’s way of thinking is beyond me.

“Seek God while he’s here to be found,
pray to him while he’s close at hand.
Let the wicked abandon their way of life
and the evil their way of thinking.
Let them come back to God, who is merciful,
come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.
“I don’t think the way you think.
The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
God’s Decree.
“For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They’ll do the work I sent them to do,
they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.”
(Isaiah 55:6-11, The Message)

I don’t understand Paris’ streets but that doesn’t keep me from appreciating a beautiful city. I don’t always understand how God thinks but that doesn’t keep me from plunging into His promises with all my heart.

In them I’m never lost or stuck in traffic!

And you? Are you having a hard time accepting God’s forgiveness, or the fact that He wants to work for you? Or simply the facts that He loves you incredibly? You may not understand it but it’s for you all the same. Plunge in!

 

Squeezing Muscles

The podcast at the end of the article is called: “Why God Doesn’t Answer Your Prayer”

My two favorite courses in high school were football and study hall. I know football isn’t a class but it sure interested me more than biology.

Each class in our small high school had a turn in the library for study hall. It was a nice break from the exhausting work of sleeping in English class or talking in science class. This time was especially educational when the teacher on duty that day had to step out for important reasons (coffee probably or a brief stab at quietness and sanity away from the wild animals).
It was great to talk to the girls, gossip with friends, read magazines, etc. If for some unexplained reason, the teacher stayed in his chair instead of going out for a stroll, and all the interesting magazines had been duly read, you could always do homework. That was ostensibly the reason for study hall in the first place.

But something happened in study hall one day, 43 years ago, that stuck in my mind and stayed there all these years. Most of the boys in our little school idolized the football coach, “Coach Mac.” Evidently he drew the short straw that day and ended up tending us in study hall. I was sitting at a table with others when he walked by and touched my right arm. Nothing mean. Coach liked to pat you on the shoulder and smile encouragingly and stuff like that for no special reason.

That day he squeezed the muscle of my arm and said something like, “Wow! What a muscle!” My 14-year old brain knew that I wasn’t Charles Atlas (For you younger readers he was a super-strong man who had been a 97-pound weakling before sprouting muscles everywhere). But I smiled, slightly embarrassed and very pleased that he had noticed me. Still remember that little moment 43 years later. Crazy isn’t it?

Giving Value To Others

Young people have so many questions about themselves and when an adult that they respect affirms them, that makes all the difference. Oh, Coach Mac could let you have it on the football field if you goofed up (or in his history class if you talked too much), but you took it a lot better from someone that you felt cared about you.

You remember people like that. Miss Mary made me want to write because in English class she told everyone that I wrote well. Pastor Van Horn came by when I was an excruciatingly young pastor, struggling to lead a little country church and frankly “on the ropes.” He invited me to work with him. What a privilege to learn how to love people from a pro.

My Uncle Donnie was another who took an interest in me as a young man and showed up at some important times.

Jesus was like that, always looking around to find people to validate and help.

“The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: “Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.” Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.” (The Message, Mark 10:13)

It’s easy to get nice little fuzzy feelings thinking about this but I suspect there is someone around you who needs a touch, needs to be affirmed. May even be someone that you’d rather not be around, but could you do some small thing to let them know that God values them”and you value them too?

Some people remember a little muscle squeeze for a long time.

Believe It Or Not-I Found a Good Poet!

The podcast at the end of this article is called: Jesus Is Coming!

My life as a poet was short and not particularly sweet. It may have hit its high point somewhere around the eighth grade with this limerick:

“There was a hog named fat,
Who had a personal fight with a cat,
He hit the cat hard, with all of his lard,
And knocked the little cat flat.”

Really speaks to your heart, doesn’t it? I know people who’ve done better, though. Consider this stirring love poem that bubbled from the heart of a friend from my college days. Thinking of his true love (one of them anyway) he wrote:

“If all the world were a smelly foot,
Then I, a little toe would be.
And I’d wish that you were athlete’s foot,
So you’d be very close to me.”

They just don’t write poetry like that anymore. (Marvin, if you’re reading this, I’ll be glad to give you credit. I just wasn’t sure that you still wanted your name associated with that).

I’m not really into most poetry. Poems and paintings are alike to me”if you have to explain them it’s already a lost cause. I’ll have to admit though, that bits of poetry that I have understood have spoken powerfully to me over the years.

When I read the boast, “I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul,” in W.E. Henley’s poem Invictus, I think hard about Who is really Master of my life.

And yes, even a hopeless unromantic like me twinges a bit on reading Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s words,

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.”

(Sonnets from the Portuguese)

And I’ve thought long and hard about my future while reading of Robert Frost’s walk in the woods:
”Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both..”

(“The Road Not Taken”).

Unfortunately most poetry seems to go downhill after the few I can really understand. They either transmogrify (a Calvin and Hobbs word) into abstract babbling that only a Martian could understand, or knock you over with heavy-flowered sweetness. (With the exception of one or two Coffee Stains readers who use their poetic talents well for the Lord)

The Best Poet of All

But still, a good poet can move your heart.

And God is a good poet, did you know that? Have you ever read any of his masterworks?

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

The Greek word for “workmanship” in this verse is “poiema.” It’s the base of our word “poem.” It can also mean a work of art, a masterpiece.

If you’ll grant me a bit of poetic license, I can almost imagine the Lord, hunched over a heavenly desk scribbling away, rhyming the story of my life”and yours. At times he stops and leans back, looking absently off into space. “Now what word would best convey that idea?” he mutters absently. “Ah, that’s it!” he exclaims as he bends again to his work.

We’re his masterpiece poem and He wants it just right.

You see He wants the whole world to see the incomparable riches of his grace to us in what Jesus Christ our Lord has done in us and for us (Eph. 2:7). We’re not abstract poems”his grace simply shouts from our life.

He wants the world to benefit from this beautiful love poem He has written with the lines of our life. He even wrote the poem before we existed because He knew we were coming. He planned out all the beautiful ways you were going to love, serve, and show the world His glory through the poetry of your life.

She threw herself into saving the children in the ghetto.
His heart throbbed with the beat of winning the lost.
They dreamed a school for those who had none.
She loved the old lady who couldn’t get out of her house.
He responded to the provocation exactly as Jesus would have.

God created us to serve Him and serve others by good works. We are not saved by these good works, but we do them because we are saved (Eph. 2:10). That’s our destiny, our reason for being.

Remember you’re not just a wanted or unwanted result of your parent’s passion. God knew about you before you were born. He dreamed the poem of your life. And the Lord writes poetry much better than me. That lends your life an incredible importance. Are you living out the stanzas of your life, the lines you were created to live?

The Tears of a Clown

This weeks podcast, at the bottom of this article, is called, “Romance!”

The phrase, “The Tears of a Clown” came to mind recently and ever since I’ve wanted to write a Coffee Stain about it. I don’t know why, but the power of the contrast in those words touched me.

The only problem is, I couldn’t really think of a spiritual application. Like any good pastor looking for a sermon to go with his great illustration, I didn’t let that stop me. I even found a “Tears of A Clown” scripture.

“Even in laughter the heart may ache,
and joy may end in grief.” Prov. 14:13 (NIV)

A little research revealed that “Tears of a Clown” was a number one hit in 1970 by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles (that information didn’t actually advance my search for a spiritual application very much).

Part of the lyrics whine, “…you’re gone and I’m hurting so bad, like a clown I pretend to be glad. Now there’s some sad things known to man but ain’t too much sadder than the tears of a clown, when there’s no one around…” Smokey Robinson words/Stevie Wonder music.

Should I pass the crying towel?

You can’t always tell what’s behind a smiley face can you? Some 80 years ago Rudolph Krb, a German clown who for many years had delighted children all over Europe, put a gun to his head and blew his brains out. He had abandoned clowning when cancer marred his face and he found it increasing difficult to make ends meet in post World War I Germany.

“Even in laughter the heart may ache…”

Everyone Feels Pain

Sometimes we ignore people’s hurts because we can’t imagine they would have pain. The rich man mustn’t weep because his money takes care of him. The pastor’s wife must never feel loneliness, because she’s so spiritual. That friend at church who has it all together and is constantly laughing and encouraging others? He never cries does he?

Of course he does. Of course they do. And God puts us here to respond to pain and suffering because when we hurt, He hurts. He wants us to be His hands extended to a suffering world. Look around. Even if she seems like she got everything together”who knows what’s behind the make-up?

So what can I do to help?

Be sensitive to the Spirit and He will often tell you when someone is hurting. Once Jesus noticed a blind beggar sitting by the road. Most people never paid any attention to him. Blind beggars in the Jerusalem of that time were part of the furniture, so numerous that usually you didn’t even notice them much. Sometimes you woke up and pitched a couple of coins into their cup. Helped the conscience.
Jesus saw him though. He SAW him. To those who criticized his Sabbath day healing Jesus responded,

“I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does.” (John 5:19, 20 NIV).

He was sensitive to people’s needs and when the Father said, “Get involved!” He did it without question.

We can also pray faithfully for our tearful clowns. When everything gets tallied up in heaven, we’re going to be amazed at the difference our prayers made (and maybe frustrated to see what a difference our lack of prayer made in a negative sense).

Encourage those who hurt. Listen to them. Share what God’s Word says but in a sensitive, caring way. Often we whip out our standard scriptures at tear time without even thinking. It doesn’t come from the heart, but from some religious library in our head. “Here’s what you’re supposed to say to the family when someone dies. Here’s the response when someone loses his job. Here’s a scripture for when …”

That can come off sounding plastic instead of real.

Make yourself available and actively enter that person’s life. Don’t become his crutch or he will never get well. He has to learn to walk again after the tears are gone, but be there to steady him and exhort him when he wants to sit down and stop.

Be aware spiritually. The Lord Jesus looks for people to dry clown tears.