Tag Archives: Christian humor

You Won’t Believe What This Star of the 1960’s Looks Like Now

 

Don’t you just love those hooks on internet articles: “What This Former Beauty Queen Looks Like Now Is Incredible,” or “You Won’t Believe How This Star Looks Now!”?

(Scroll to the bottom of the page to see what this star looks like today!)

 

If you click on the picture of the young star you’ll find it’s more of a commercial than a news story. And when you see the picture, you get a jolt when you realize they’re not 25 anymore. (And it reminds us that most of us aren’t either).

Let’s face it. If you’re better looking now than you were forty years ago, you were probably really homely forty years ago. (“Homely” = “ugly” for my British readers).

Are You Going Forward Or Backward?

And still … still. I hope I’m better looking inside than I was when I started out with the Lord. The inside beauty I’m talking about can’t be located by an x-ray or a cat scan. I’m talking about my character, my heart, the core of who I am.

It’s possible to get better looking as we go forward.

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For our momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Cor. 4:16-18, NASB

How Can I Do This?

Now if I were to lift weights, run marathons, color my hair, get a facelift and put on (man) make-up, I might look a little better on the outside. But, if I stopped doing that one moment, everything would start to sag again.

Gravity is rough on aging bodies.

Let’s do the best we can but trying to look young again is like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon.

Can we make some permanent improvements on the inside, though? Yes!

Practically How?

–We can change our way of looking at things. Constantly remember that these battles

—when we fight them in faith—produce an eternal glory. We’ll have heavenly rewards. Yes, it’s true. We send over deposits in the bank of Heaven. Our inside man is getting better looking each day and all the while we’re storing up eternal benefits.

–We keep our eyes on what we can’t see with our physical eyes. Our time on this world world passes like the shadow of a cloud that hurries between us and the sun. Then it’s gone. When you’re twenty and full of dreams, that’s hard to realize. But, you need to start working on the inside while the outside is still good-looking. Continue reading

Are You Going To the Dogs?

If you’d like to listen to this article, click here

When I growing up, dogs played a prominent role in the cast of supporting characters of my world. 

Let’s see, there was Pooh-pooh, Butch, Twist-It, Jack, Churchill, Skipper and probably some more I’ve forgotten.

You couldn’t exactly say they were purebred. They had lots of interesting ancestors from a lot of different places.

These dogs didn’t exactly belong to people. They just lived a your house. I think they belonged to themselves.

I loved to tease them. Sometimes after the meal, when a biscuit somehow escaped our hungry young mouths, I’d give it to the dogs. 

They’d line up before me. I still see it. My hand moved to toss it in the air and they’d jump. Only problem, I still had it in my hand. “Snicker, snicker, snicker.” (The dogs didn’t laugh).

Now they eyed my hand like a bird looks at a stray worm. If I made a small gesture they reacted. They wanted that biscuit. Ah, the good old days. Didn’t take much to entertain me back then, did it?

Looking Straight At It

One thing imprinted itself on my mind, and that’s the way they looked at my hand: expectantly, alertly, waiting, ready to spring. Years later I found something in the Bible that made me think of those dogs:  Continue reading

How To Stop the Ugly Spiral and Get Better Looking

We preached for a couple of churches in the North of France this weekend. They were together having an outing, so after putting some sausages and fries into the ministry, I settled into a reasonably comfortable spot in the shade to watch the soccer game.

At church outings, there is a mandatory sporting event so that the men can strut their stuff. My stuff is mostly strutted out because of a gimpy knee (and 65 years of walking on it). In some countries the sport is softball or touch football, maybe even volleyball.

In France of course it’s soccer.

I must admit that I was impressed by some of the middle-aged guys. They were no longer young, their belts were stretching to try to hold in the extra pounds around their middle and their aging heads were full of graying, gray, or disappearing hair.

They started out well and at times amazed me with their abilities. 

The game was divided into three parts for the older players:  first twenty minutes or so–“flashes from the past,” you could imagine that at one time they weren’t bad as they rumbled around shooting and passing and telling themselves that they still had it; second twenty minutes—“reminders of the present,” here the match slows down considerably and reality sets in; third twenty minutes—“flashes from the old folks home,” a vision of the future.

“Is it time for desert yet?”

Another twenty minutes and we could have called the undertaker for some of them. I imagine there was quite of chorus of, “I told you!” from their wives on Monday morning.

Folks, whether we like it or not, this thing isn’t heading in a good direction.

The tiny baby makes us smile. (Notice, I didn’t say “beautiful baby.” Look at the kid! No hair, no teeth, all red and wailing. Everyone says he’s the spitting image of his daddy). I will admit that he is kind of sweet.

This little guy becomes the cute kid and she then morphs into the eye-catching teenager.

Somewhere though, gray hairs begin to sprout like green grass in Spring and hairdressers get rich making blonds out of grays. Pounds pile on, cholesterol shoots up and you look up the road a couple of years at the people a bit older than you and realize that it’s not going to get better.

We’re all going to seed.

It’s actually worse than that. One day I was reflecting and I realized something. I loved my grandparents but it’s almost like you have to cash them in to get your children.

Then you trade your parents for your grandchildren.

Then came a sobering thought: One of these days my grandkids are going to trade me in too! “C’mon guys, no! I’m papa, remember those ice-cream cones?” Continue reading

Quit Muttering and ASK!

My mamaw Deloney knew a lot of hard times in her earlier life so as she and Granddad settled into retirement she wanted to make her nest a bit more comfortable.

I’m sure it was with her urging that Granddad finally got an air-conditioned car and wonder of wonders they got air-conditioning in their little house. Granddad jested, “Next she’ll want me to build an air-conditioned tunnel so that she can walk from the house to the car

Really, he was happy to make her happy. The day that she demanded a dishwasher, though, he balked. He couldn’t see any reason to change the time-honored system of washing dishes by hand or even helping her himself since that was women’s work—(back in those days not today, young ladies, so settle down).

But Mamaw wanted one.

One day I was in the back of the house when Mamaw had once again broached the subject of a dishwasher. Granddad was adamant: no dishwasher! Continue reading

How To Scratch Life’s Itches As Effectively As a Hound Dog

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-image-basset-hound-looks-camera-image26795781I was always impressed by the scratching ability of my dad’s old hound dog, Pooh-pooh.

In my opinion, few animals can scratch an itch like an old hound dog. When they find an itchy spot they slap a paw on it and shift into “high-speed-scratch” gear.

Old “Pooh-pooh” had a high-speed scratch mode that was a thing to behold. Little varmits didn’t stand a chance.

One of my grandsons told me that he itched somewhere or other all the time. He didn’t seem to have a problem so I concluded that it was just the normal seven-year old noticing things that most of us don’t pay any attention to anymore.

I imagine you itch somewhere right now. Stop and really think about it. Continue reading