Sometimes I muddle around looking for something but when it refuses to let itself be found I play my ace in the hole. “Phyllis, do you know where I put …” (You can insert a ton of lost things into this blank).
If she doesn’t know I’m in trouble. Continue reading
Someone observed, “God is never late, but he sure misses a lot of good chances to show up early!”
Can I go just a bit further? Sometimes I think He’s too late (stay with me).
“Abraham, you’re going to be the father of a multitude of nations.” That was God’s promise but old Abraham was 99 and his wife 89 when God spoke and said they were going to have a child.
“Um, Lord. I know you said that but you’re kind of an hour late and a dollar short, aren’t you? I know I don’t have to give you an anatomy lesson but it’s TOO LATE.”
Recently we celebrated our fortieth wedding anniversary by taking a vacation. My wife had basically threatened my well-being if I didn’t take her to the Grand Canyon so off we went.
I figured out a few things while I was there. One was that if I had a nickel for every picture that’s been taken at the Grand Canyon, Bill Gates would be asking me for loans. Continue reading
“You can’t be safe and brave at the same time.”
You can say a lot of dumb things in one sentence.
At the beginning of school this year I saw a bold proclamation on a school marquee: “Failure is not an option.”
I know the young scholars were properly inspired but I couldn’t help think, “Someone who says that doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
You know how to keep from failing? Never try anything. Stay in bed and pull the covers up over your head.
Continue reading
I will admit, though, that I’m the “almost perfect” husband. The perfect husband does all that I do plus foot rubs. I’m not into foot rubs. I’ll massage her back for 30-60 seconds but I don’t do feet. Continue reading
