Petrified Shepherds

Posted on December 22, 2011 by David Porter

Imagine this:

“All right, listen up you guys!” The chattering of hundreds of angel voices calmed slightly but the bantering still went on.
“Come on. Quiet! Look up here!”
The head angel, a stern-looking fellow about 6’8” tall, clapped his hands and reluctantly the angels turned from their animated conversations to listen to their leader.

In the back stood two angels who had been friends, it seemed like forever. Let’s call them Clyde and Fred. Fred was as big as his chief but didn’t think quite as fast. Clyde ran to the skinny side and it was rare that his mouth was quiet for more than 59 seconds at a time. Continue reading →

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Something Can Get ‘Hold Of You

Posted on December 15, 2011 by David Porter

I always hated it when daddy made me work in his garden. Cruel and unusual punishment, I thought it.

Dad said, “You’ll want to eat what comes from the garden!”

Yeah, sure! Can you imagine an eight-year old getting excited about green beans, onions and tomatoes? But dad was dad and the slave doesn’t have a lot of choice. So work I did (kind of). Continue reading →

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Wake Up Little Rosebud!

Posted on December 1, 2011 by David Porter

You usually don’t want to see me when I wake up in the morning. It’s not a pretty sight and I’m not a happy camper until I swallow a little coffee, then the world starts to look like a better place.

While we’re on the subject, I’m not crazy about alarm clocks, either. Until recently that is. I purchased one of those coffee makers that turn on automatically at the hour you set it for in the morning.

Often I’m lying there, sleeping happily, mouth open and suddenly this odor wafts into my bedroom. “Come and drink me,” it says. “I’m so delicious. I’m even better than sleep.”

And I stir, “No, just a bit more sleep.” But, this caffeine-loaded aroma cloud tickles my nostrils and scratches behind my ears and slowly I begin to wake up. Getting up is no fun but a good cup of coffee is the reward so it’s a nice trade off. Continue reading →

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The Vitamin of Joy

Posted on November 23, 2011 by David Porter

Sometimes I get kind of droopy and slow. Actually, sometimes isn’t the right qualifier. It’s more like about half the time I’m awake,  especially the afternoons.

I’ve thought about taking vitamins to fire me up. But the question is should I take vitamin A, B, Q, Z, A2, etc?  Everyone’s got their own idea. I even took a tonic for a while and I imagined that it pepped me up a little. But, in the afternoon my get-up-and-go still got up and went. Continue reading →

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How To Catch Fish

Posted on November 18, 2011 by David Porter

Fish never ceased to amaze me when I was a fisherman. Some days they would jump in the boat, grab my baited hook and stick it hungrily into their mouth (that might be a tiny bit exaggerated).

Other days you could offer them a fishly banquet and they would smugly swim by, nose in the air with never even a nibble at your wonderful offering. Continue reading →

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